Brain Chaos at Hogwarts School
by Beloved of Eireann
Summary: It's a new year at Hogwarts, and some of the new students are a bit odd, to say the least. Contains HP, Sherlock, and Grimm characters. Rated T for language.
1. Chapter 1- The Hogwarts Express

_**This is a concept I had out there for a while. It's a Grimm/Sherlock/HP crossover, so that's what that is. Any questions, leave them in the comments.**_

Chapter 1- The Hogwarts Express

John Watson looked in awe at the gleaming black-and-red train that lay in the station before him. Smoke puffed lightly out of its stack as the students boarded to be on their way to Hogwarts.

John still wasn't entirely convinced that this whole business of a wizard school wasn't some sort of elaborate joke. However, he had the robes, cauldron, books, wand, and even a bloody owl, so he figured there must be something to it.

Watson looked up at his father, uncertain of what to say to the man. His father had never been anything that could be called involved in John's life. "Er… Dad, I-"

"Go on, John," his father said, "or you'll miss our train."

John nodded, gathered his things, and climbed aboard the Hogwarts Express, walking along the crowded corridors until he found a compartment with only one person in it.

The occupant was a tall, thin boy with curly black hair and a long dark coat wrapped around him tightly. His eyes were closed, but they opened when John entered the compartment, and the boy looked him over critically before speaking.

"Military or police?"

"Er… sorry, what?"

"Your father. Is he military or police?"

"Uh, military, how did you-"

When the boy began speaking, John found himself interrupted for the second time in 15 seconds. "You have the disappointed look all over your face that suggests you were looking from some sort of emotional affirmation today, but you didn't receive it. The most likely source of emotional affirmation for an 11-year-old is a parent, so at least one of yours is at least emotionally, if not physically, absent. The father is statistically more likely, and there are any number of reasons why he may not pay you the attention you were hoping for, but I noticed your bearing and your haircut. Even under the proverbial weight of your disappointment, you stand perfectly straight, shoulders squared, et cetera. '_But wait, what's my haircut got to do with it_?' Please, it's practically shaved off, it's obvious. So, you've an emotionally absent father whose only lessons to you have been about discipline and self-control, so he's a member of some organization whose code is devoted to those values, thus- military or police, as you've just answered." He looked evenly at John. "Simple, really."

"_That _was simple?" John asked in disbelief.

"Obviously."

"Now now, Sherlock, don't show off," a girl's voice said from behind Watson. He turned and saw a blonde girl standing in the doorway, smiling slightly.

The black-haired boy, Sherlock, snorted. "Of course I'm going to show off, Adalind, it's what I _do._"

John moved aside to let the girl in, and she stowed her luggage in the rack over the seats, then sat down. John followed suit, taking the seat next to Sherlock and across the compartment from the girl named Adalind, who smiled at him.

"I'm Adalind Schade, and that's Sherlock Holmes," she said.

"Oh, I'm John Watson." He looked around. "I still can't believe all this stuff about magic and wizard schools is true."

"Believe it," Sherlock said. "Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be true."

Adalind rolled her eyes as the door opened again and a pale, sharp-featured boy entered the compartment.

"John," Adalind said, cutting off any further from Sherlock, "this is Scorpius Malfoy. Scorpius, this is John Watson."

Scorpius nodded briefly to John and sat next to Adalind. "Where're you from?" he asked as he sat.

John figured the question was directed at him, so he said, "Northumberland. So, you three all know each other?"

"Hardly a difficult observation, but yes," Sherlock said. "Our parents- Adalind's mother, Scorpius' and my fathers- work for the Ministry, so we met through them." He closed his eyes and steepled his fingers.

"There's also a girl named Gwen Wright, who's probably on the train somewhere," Adalind said. "Wherever she is, she's probably getting into some sort of trouble."

O.O.O.O

The girl was _staring_ at him.

Éamon O'Driscoll's flat cap was pulled down over his eyes, and he was pretending to be asleep, but he could tell somehow that the girl who was sitting across the compartment from him was _staring_ at him.

He shifted in his seat, trying to get her to stop without actually communicating with her. It didn't work, however, and he was forced to sit up and confront her, which was annoying.

"D'ye want somethin'?" he demanded, pushing his hat back and centering it on his head.

The girl had an expression of curiosity on her face as she looked at him. Her hair was brown and braided with a length of ribbon, and her eyes were a swampy green. When Éamon spoke, she shook her head.

"Nah," she said, "ye just look familiar. D'Ah know ye?"

"Ye been ta West Cahrk?"

She shook her head, and Éamon said, "Then we've ne'er met."

The girl smiled like an idiot. "Ah'm Nicole Buchanan."

"Éamon O'Driscoll." He nodded curtly and pulled his hat back down over his eyes as the train pulled out of the station.

After a moment, the door opened again, and a girl's voice with an upper-class English accent asked, "Can I join you two?"

"Aye, 'course," Buchanan said. "I'm Nicole Buchanan, an' this's Éamon O'Driscoll. He ain't much fer conversation, though."

"Gwen Wright," the new girl said as she sat next to Éamon. "So, what're your hopes when it comes to Houses?"

"Well, Da was in Hufflepuff, an' Mam was a Muggle," Nicole said, "but Ah donnae hae any preference." Éamon could tell she was looking at him again. "Whit aboat ye?"

O'Driscoll didn't respond, and without warning, his hat was snatched off his head. He glared across the compartment at Buchanan who was holding it and smiling like an idiot. Again.

"Gimme me goddam hat back," he snapped.

She shook her head and put his hat on herself. "Answer m'questions."

"Why the fuck should Oi do tha'?"

"Tsk, language. 'Cause Ah've got yer hat, an' if ye donnae talk, Ah'll set on it."

Éamon growled, but said, "Mam was in Slytherin, Da an' m'aulder brother got put in Ravenclaw. Now gimme me goddam hat back."

"Ah donnae think so."

"It wasn' a goddam request," he growled.

She smirked. "If ye want't back, ye should be nicer tae me." With that, she took his cap and sat on it. Éamon growled angrily and launched himself at her, but she rolled to the side and grabbed him in a tight hug.

"Awww, yer such a sweetheart," she giggled. Éamon pulled away, snatched his hat out from under her, and sat back down, pulling his hat back down over his eyes.

"Lemme alone, ye damn crazy Scotswoman," he snapped. "An' if ye touch me hat again, Oi'll break yer goddam fingers."

"That seems excessive," the English girl, Gwen Wright, said mildly.

Éamon spoke without looking at her. "It became yer business when, Sasanach?"

"Well, you're a regular ray of sunshine, aren't you?"

"Go roide a kelpie."

The door opened again, and Éamon heard the most wonderful sound in the world- the voice of a fellow Corkman.

"Kin Oi join ye? The whole bloody train's full."

O'Driscoll pushed his cap back and saw a short boy with dark eyes standing in the doorway, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

"Aye, c'mon in," Buchanan said cheerfully.

The boy sat down across from Éamon, who looked at him warily. "'S yer clan?"

"Moriarty. Jim Moriarty," the boy said. "You?"

"Éamon O'Driscoll. Makes y'an ally, aye?" He offered a hand, which Moriarty took.

"Guess it does, aye."

Gwen Wright rolled her eyes to Heaven. "This'll be lovely, won't it?"

O.O.O.O

There were five people squeezed into the compartment where Eddie Monroe sat as the Hogwarts Express rolled on through the Scottish Highlands. There were, apart from Monroe himself, two dark-haired boys named Nick Burkhardt and Sean Renard, a black boy named Hank Griffin, and a Chinese boy named Reggie Wu.

Monroe felt very nervous around so many people, given how close a proximity he was in to them, and how long he had been that close. His _woge _had started a few months before his Hogwarts letter had arrived, and he was still learning to control it properly.

"So," Hank said, "how exactly do these Houses you mentioned work?" He and Wu were Muggle-born, and still unclear on the workings of Hogwarts.

Sean steepled his fingers. "The way my brother Eric described it, you put on the Sorting Hat, and it looks into your mind somehow, and determines your House based on your dominant personality traits- Gryffindor for courage, Hufflepuff for industry, Ravenclaw for intelligence, or Slytherin for cunning. The Houses get points for successes, or lose them for breaking rules, and at the end of the year, the House with the most points wins the House Cup."

"Which House is your brother in?" Monore asked.

"Slytherin. Whole family's in Slytherin." He fell silent for a moment, faced closed down and brooding, before he said, "What about you and… Nick, right?"

Nick nodded. "Dad was in Ravenclaw, and Mom was a Muggle."

"My mom was in Hufflepuff, and dad's whole family were Muggles."

Sean nodded and looked out the window. "We're almost there, I think we should change into our robes."

They did as he suggested, and soon the train pulled into Hogsmeade station, where the first years were led to boats which took them across the lake.

As the castle loomed out of the fog, Monroe looked up at the massive structure. "My God…"


	2. Chapter 2- Sorting

_**So here we have our long-awaited Sorting chapter. The characters in this story are the HP Next Generation kids, as well as the characters from Grimm, Sherlock, as well as myself and four of my friends- Newt, Shadow, Green, and Cassie.**_

Chapter 2- Sorting

John Watson stood near the center of the cluster of first-year students in the center of the Entrance Hall of the castle. The giant who had led them across the lake stood behind then, waiting, until a tall man with wispy white hair and a scraggly beard walked out into the Hall.

"Alright, Hagrid," the man said. "I'll take them from here."

The giant, Hagrid, nodded and said, "Alright, Professor Marks," then walked off to a room off the side of the Entrance Hall.

Professor Marks led the first-years into a side room and stood at the front of the cluster. "Welcome to Hogwarts. In a few minutes, you will be taken into the Great Hall and sorted into your Houses. Throughout the year, your triumphs will earn your House points, while any rule-breaking will lose you points. At the end of the year, the House with the most points will be awarded the House Cup." He went to the door, and as he left, said, "I'll be back for you in a moment."

After he was gone, the group broke into a low buzz of conversation. John heard a boy with an Irish accent snap angrily at a girl to leave him alone, then a girl laughing.

Before too long, Professor Marks came back. "We're ready for you now." He led them out into the Great Hall, where a raggedy old hat stood on a three-legged stool.

Professor Marks took out a parchment scroll, picked up the hat, and called out the first name. "Anderson, Stephen!"

A thin boy with dark hair went up and sat. Professor Marks put the Hat on his head, and after a moment, the Hat shouted, "HUFFLEPUFF!"

One of the four tables burst into applause as Anderson sat down with them and Marks called out, "Birt, Rachel!"

The little brunette girl went up anxiously.

"RAVENCLAW!" the Hat called, and the girl scampered off to join her classmates.

"Buchanan, Nicole!"

The girl went up, and the Hat declared, "HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Burkhardt, Nicholas!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Calvert, Rosalee!" The tan-skinned girl with shoulder-length brown hair sat on the stool.

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Donovan, Sally!"

The Hat took a while before it declared the black girl to be in "HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Griffin, Henry!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Holmes, Sherlock!"

Sherlock went up and sat, and the Hat barely touched his head before bellowing, "RAVENCLAW!"

"Hooper, Molly!"

The Hat took a while before declaring the nervous girl to be in "RAVENCLAW!"

"Howell, Charlotte!"

Another brunette girl went up to the stool. "HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Lestrade, Gregory!" A tall, thin boy with fair hair went up.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Malfoy, Scorpius!"

Like Sherlock, the Hat barely touched him before deciding. "SLYTHERIN!"

"Monroe, Edward!"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Moriarty, James!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

"O'Driscoll, Éamon!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Potter, Albus!" He was a short boy with dark hair and green eyes.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Renard, Sean!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Schade, Adalind!" Adalind smiled slightly at John before she went up.

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Silverton, Juliette!" A tall, redheaded girl went up to the stool.

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Watson, John!"

John went up and sat, and the Hat fell down over his eyes.

'_Hmmm..._' a voice said in his ear. '_I see courage very clearly here... and industry, as well, but I think-'_ "GRYFFINDOR!"

John got up as the Hat was removed, and went down to the Gryffindor table, sitting in shock next to Greg Lestrade. One boy sitting across the table extended a hand. "Hey, welcome to Gryffindor. I'm James Potter."

"John Watson..."

Back at the stool, Professor Marks called, "Weasley, Rose!"

The redheaded girl sat for almost two minutes before the Hat called, "GRYFFINDOR!"

"Wright, Gwendolyn!"

The girl, presumably the one that Adalind had mentioned on the train, was short, with two long red-brown braids hanging down over her shoulders. When she sat on the stool, the Hat called out, "HUFFLEPUFF!"

Marks took the Hat again and called, "Wu, Reginald!"

A Chinese boy winced as he sat on the stool, and the Hat announced, "HUFFLEPUFF!"

Wu sat at the Hufflepuff table, and a tall woman in green tartan robes stool up at the High Table as Professor Marks cleared away the stool and Hat.

"There are some announcements which need to be made," the woman said, "but that can wait until after the feast." With that, she sat back down, and the Hall's golden plates filled up with food.

O.O.O.O

Éamon O'Driscoll looked up and down the Slytherin table and curled his lip. He leaned over to Jim Moriarty and said, "In all honesty, Seamus, Oi expected more'n this from the fabled Slytherin House."

Moriarty blinked. "Why?"

O'Driscoll shrugged. "These people jist seem... lackin'."

"Well, it's early days yet, Ned."

"Aye..."

A boy who looked about 15 or 16, with green eyes and curly dark hair, looked down the table at the Irish boys. "You're James Moriarty and Éamon O'Driscoll, right?"

"Oi go by Jim," Moriarty said, "but aye, Oi'm Moriarty."

"Ned, Éamon, O'Driscoll, Arseface, any or all do me foine." Éamon shrugged nonchalantly. "Ye know our names, an' Oi figure tha' gives ye the advantage o'er us."

"Eric Renard, Slytherin fifth year prefect," the boy said. "My brother Sean was sorted here with you just now."

"Tall, short dark hair?" O'Driscoll asked.

Eric nodded, and Éamon went on, "we spoke briefly on the train."

Eric frowned. "Sean's not a sparkling conversationalist. He prefers to keep his own company, even at the expense of his relationship with the family."

"Huh." O'Driscoll was prevented from inquiring further by the appearance of the dessert portion of the feast on the Hall's plates.

Éamon groaned happily. "Jasus wept!" He grabbed Moriarty by the shoulder. "Look at this goddam shit, Seamus! When've ye e'er seen so much goddam food in one bloody place?"

"Oi ne'er have, Ned," Moriarty said with a grin, "Oi ne'er have."

The two tucked in happily, disregarding the looks of distaste they received from some of the other Slytherins.

"So," Éamon asked through a mouthful of pudding, "whit town're ye from?"

"Clonakilty," Moriarty said. "Mam runs a bookshop in Druid's Street, and Da works in the Dublin branch'f Gringotts."

"Getcha. Oi'm from Skibbereen. Da's an historian, wroitin' a book on the history'f magic in the province o' Munster, an' Mam works fer the Ministry in Dublin, trackin' the moigration patterns'f Hebridean Black dragons."

Scorpius Malfoy looked over in surprise. "Dragons migrate?"

"No, the goddam Ministry's wastin' me Mam's toime on bullshit," Éamon said drily, and Malfoy flushed angrily.

"You think you're pretty clever, don't you?" the pale boy snapped.

"Oi don' think, Oi know," O'Driscoll shot back flippantly.

Malfoy opened his mouth to reply, but Eric Renard said, "That's enough, the both of you! I'm not going to have in-fighting in my own House!" He looked between the two boys. Éamon was smirking arrogantly, and Scorpius was flushed and embarrassed-looking. "Now both of you shake hands," the prefect ordered.

O'Driscoll shrugged and offered a hand, clearly amused by the whole situation, and Scorpius shook it. His expression indicated, however, that he wasn't going to forget the exchange.

"Way ter back me up, Seamus," Éamon said to Moriarty. "Oi particularly loiked the part where ye sat there an' said nothin'."

Moriarty shrugged. "Ye didn' look loike ye needed me fer anythin'."

"Aye, tha's true," Éamon said, punching his friend on the shoulder. "Oi am an independent-moinded sonofabitch."

O.O.O.O

Eddie Monroe sat at the Hufflepuff table with a full belly.

"That," he said, "was the best meal I have ever eaten."

The Chinese boy from the train, Wu, nodded in agreement. "I don't think I'll ever enjoy food again after that."

Monroe didn't have a chance to respond, however, because Professor McGonagall stood up at the High Table.

"To those of you who are new to our school, welcome to Hogwarts," she said. "To those who are returning, welcome back. I have a few announcements which must be made before you go off to bed. Firstly, we would like to welcome a new Charms teacher, Professor Goshawk." She gestured to a blond man sitting halfway down the table and smiling confidently.

"I heard his aunt's Miranda Goshawk," Monroe heard a boy he recognized as Stephen Anderson whisper.

"Who?" A girl Monroe didn't recognize replied.

"The author of the Standard Book of Spells," Anderson replied.

"In addition," Professor McGonagall went on, "all first-years should be aware that the forest on the grounds is off-limits to all students. Also, out caretaker, Mr. Hunt has asked me to remind you that the use of magic in the corridors, along with the list of objects on display in Mr. Hunt's office, are all strictly prohibited. That will be all for tonight. Now, off to bed."

The Hall erupted into various chattering conversations, and a prefect called, "First-years follow me to the dormitories!" Monroe got up and followed the prefect down the basements, where a statue stood in the corridor, across from a painting of a bowl of fruit.

"_Meles meles_," the prefect said, and the wall opened up, revealing a cozy room with a crackling fire ready.

"This is the Hufflepuff common room," the prefect said. "Your things have been brought down; the girls' dormitories are on the left, the boys' on the right. Now off to bed, you'll have a busy day tomorrow."

Monroe did as he was told, putting on his pajamas and climbing into bed. He was asleep seconds after he closed his eyes.

_**So, here's a quick breakdown of the Sorting List. If you disagree with my decisions, leave me a comment, and any complaints will be duly ignored in the order in which they are received.**_

_**GRYFFINDOR: Nick (Grimm), Hank (Grimm), Lestrade (Sherlock), Albus (HP), Watson (Sherlock), Rose (HP)**_

_**HUFFLEPUFF: Anderson (Sherlock), Buchanan (Newt), Donovan (Sherlock), Charlotte (Cassie), Monroe (Grimm), Gwen (Green), Wu (Grimm)**_

_**RAVENCLAW: Rachel (Shadow), Rosalee (Grimm), Sherlock (Sherlock), Molly (Sherlock), Juliette (Grimm)**_

_**SLYTHERIN: Scorpius (HP), Moriarty (Sherlock), O'Driscoll (Yours truly), Renard (Grimm), Adalind (Grimm)**_


End file.
